“dalam tiga2 anak mak..mak plg risaukan fatin……”aik..awatnya mak?( I asked curiously..) my mom jawab.masa nk lepaih fatin blajaq kat MMU..mak risau fatin. fatin plg manja ngn mak ayah. with dat answer she really touched my heart. dat shows how much makayah kita kenal kita kn.and as fer my dad, dia slalu pesan..”hati jgn baik sgt.nanti kena buli..kena tipu”..but I am so sorry ayah..mak..dat is me. we accept people fer who they are kn mak ayah..like mak ayah accept me kn?..
..i once remember when I was a little girl.. me n my parent pegi pasar malam n I saw dis pakcik buta mintak sedekah. for 7 o 8 years old child..I was crying.n I cried hard..sampai dalam kereta..jenuh mak ayah pujuk. sbbnya? satu-satunya sbb ialah sbb pakcik tu buta dan terpaksa minta sedekah..poor him kan. even now pun..my sensitiveness never shows sign utk kurang. mcm skarang..I will never leave my frens alone when they needs me. ill try my best to help..to comfort…to get along..I akan pergi toilet, just for the sake derang x de kwn nak pergi…but smtimes, some people just dun feel/do the same kat kita...so no wonderlah kan people always take me fer granted.. *smiling*
back to my school time pulak..I was a boyish/ignorance kinda student.dun care much about others in school.have few frens..very few.nmpk keras.but inside..slalu sgt mnangis.sometimes for no reasons.mcm dah jadi hobi lak. I kasar. ’rempang’ and i was kinda famous among teachers. I x buat kja sekola..(padahal most of the teachers mmg kawan2 mak kot..ish) I pnah lari skolah ikut gate blakang..main spirit of the coin la(konon2nya..) tapi 1 ja, bila masa tusyen..I seldom talk.seldom apa?tak ckp pn kot..mcm xsuka lelaki pn ada.as fr me..at dat time la.mcm derang kco2 tu just nk watkan kita(girls) perasan..n im not dat kind of girl..(klo x, da kawen kots) huhu…
..same goes masa study kat MMU.no boy-fren at all.yg betul2 kawan..na-da.can be listed la klo ada pn..tu pn pas knai2 kot ragnarok..ngn YM..mmg diam.diam langsung.. xbergaul..x shine. now only I realized…betapa ruginya myself.. byk sgt benda yang i x explore..myself..my ability..tapi x elok regret benda yang da lepas.dat is our fate kan..just be thankful :)
mm..and now! i da kja kat UM.diffrnt sgt dgn MMU.I used to have my own staff back at MMU dulu as assistant manager.seriously.. kat sana baru I develop myself..attnding meeting with deans,prsidnt..lecturers..students. my nerves, my inferiority semua have to be left behind..tp still I taleh lari dari kasihankan org.tp d sbbkn I was too busy kt MMU dulu..I x rse pape sgt.I spent most of my time kt office.n kerja.fully used.no fb.no youtube.no life.
but bila kat UM..I spent more than 9 hours kat office.sama..sama cm MMU.but here.. office is my life. fer dat I thx you kakak2 n frens whoever accpt me fer who I am. my world smua kat office. as a person like me, with my family in kedah..”manja” konon..and my busy “bestfren”..nthing much I can do..than to rely on them..to be like..to be love. but people can change in a *blink*. :) frens who used to be ur frens..tetiba diam..annoyed dgn you.wut can I say..I tend to show my true colors to persons who I assumed to be close to me. :) ..unlike me, derang ada smuanya..family dkat.. berkeluarga. but this is life kn.wut do I expect? I shudnt wish to be treated like wt i wnna be treated. sape sangka kn..I can cry bcoz of dis.nobody does..but trully. I lve my frens..n when frens hurt our feelin, its really really really hurts. nvrmnd.ill change..klo x mampu ubah..ill quit. hope Tuhan have a bigger plan fer me.
p/s: mybe I shud b stayin in melaka.without frens..without life..
