ok. *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
its kinda tuff week ive been living in this week. :-) but well.. ujian dan dugaan: tanda Allah sayang pada hambaNya kan? i dun know..i dun ever have enemy b4. have you? i think you do kan. sbb tu yg u leh cakap mcm tu. :-) yah.. ive been a gud colleague(kakak-kakak,abang-abang) in melaka, in cyberjaya..i still hve frens till today. i nvr get into a big fight before. only some "misunderstanding" dengan cik fifi. (i have guts to mention her name here as i really dun noe wut had happen between us) tapi sampai skang pun im not quite sure wut is the "thing" that coz this misundertsnding. mungkin SI BATU API..
wut do you think? /:-)
from my observation, this kind of peeps dun have any job to do kot? i guess so. because they have so many time to chat.. "mengadu domba" ..melaga-lagakan org. jst talk about others when meeting. do you think this kind of individual really care about you? do think again ya.double faces they are.. they will talk nicely in front of your face.. but.. do u noe wut they do/say behind your back? can u trust ur own BEST FREN? if you do..pls think again..:-)
ive been thinking..so many people nowadays..yg i dun noe.maybe xikhlas in everything they do?or say kot.for me.. if u need my help..just pls ask..dat is me. pls..dont hurt someone's feeling by saying all the bad words. "babi" semua. its shows your level of thinking/ur maturity. you noe how this bad word can make u fall into a big fight.dun START it.semua org ada perasaan.i have no time to see wut everyone's doing.but xsangka lak kan..ade gk org yg spying on wut im doing.tacup gambar for not more than 5 minutes boleh cause keje tak siap.. dun look down to other people.do you think you are good enuf?what you have been doin so far?
..mungkin Tuhan sengaja bagi i TERnampak wut im not suppose to see. :-) but im cool with it.at least i now how to deal with those people after this.i do noe..since dulu pun..i mmg huduh..ive never been beautiful or cute or wutsoeversh*t pn.i tau..i tau.badan pun macam MAKCIK.i tau..i have no cnfdnt.ive been trying to deal with this thing, struggle with it since i was in mmu.(sbb kt skolah i x rase sgt..sbb i have good frens since im in primary school) i have no fren in mmu.im too afraid to be fren with others.takot derang tak nak kawan dengan i sbb im ugly. sampaila after i finished my study.i have about 5 bes-ties..and other fren yg accpt me for who i am.:-)
after that..i startd kje kat kdh.designing 40x10feets of billboards..memenuhi jln2 kat kedah,,and i start gaining my confident since then.guys trying to get to noe me.but being me..i xlyn smua tu.bcos dari dulu i dah tanamkan..tu smua just nk mengejek je and nak buat i perasan.but sbnrnye im thankful dat im not dat kind of girl.at least i bukan jenis melayan.then i kja kt mmu..still with my unmanaged inferiority complex.im timid.rarely talk to people..(not bcos im not frenly or..berlagak sgt..)but it is really bcos the questions on my mind/are they really wanna be fren with me? the uglyfat girl??im sry if ive hurt anybody on this.but its nvr been my intention to stuck up my nose.all of this happn bcos i dun feel beautiful.i feel ugly.i noe..we have no rite untuk hina ciptaan Allah.berdosanya aku ya Allah..but ive been trying so hard for not feeling ugly.i care too much on whut others might think of me.people might not like the way i dress, i makeup..but dat is the only way i can face org sekeliling.. i really have prob with this. for that im not going to have anybody by my site..besides my family..for the rest of my life..i guess.
ya Allah..pls.panjangkan lah umur kedua org tuaku..berikan lah aku peluang untuk membahagiakan mereka.hnya meraka shj yang aku punyai di dunia ini..:-(
dear fren.when i first noe that u are not in a gud condition..u r sick..there were tearsin my eyes.i cnnt stand seeing u cry.fren..when u needed me..to ease ur problm..i wre there for you.evntho i wasnt really feel like goin out..i went out wif u..bcos i noe..u need it.fren.im sry for wuts ive done.i myslf pn teruk.but i nvr hate any of you.nvr..nvr annoyed.just sad.and to be frank..i love being here.i love you gys.yah..im always sad.with so many things..disappointed with myself.semoga Allah kurniakan matahari dicelahan awan yg x seberapa cerah..
i have to learn to tuffen up.kental.strong.
and thx frens..for all cacian..alhamdulillah you guys d kurniakan ahli keluarga/isteri/suami yg cantik rupa parasnya..comel..dan mengikut segala perintah Allah dan ajaran Rasul.alhamdulillah.semoga Allah berikan yang buat terbaik kamu semua. :-)